Live here and now

Last updated on April 22nd, 2021 at 07:23 pm

The second part of the interview that Vesna gave for Večernje Novosti (Novosti Plus) in January 2021.

How important is it to live in the present moment, that is, to feel the presence and truly experience everything that happens to us every day with conscious attention?

When we learn how to consciously observe our different experiences in a new way, a complete internal change takes place and it is often called the Mindfulness Paradox; through observation alone, natural release and healing occurs.

Instead of the word survival, I would rather use the word observation.

For example, when we observe our emotional reaction and think: "I am angry" it has a completely different meaning and effect than: "Anger is present."

When we know how not to suppress our thoughts and emotions but also how not to identify with them, we can deal with any life situation without distinction.

The basis is presence, then through Mindfulness program we learn how to "work" with what we notice, whether it's a feeling in the body, a change in breathing, an emotion, or a thought.

At what age do we stop functioning in that way without thinking, naturally, so we are more and more present with our body and with our thoughts in the past or the future?

I believe it depends on what kind of childhood a child has. I think that contacts with other children, the first stressful situations such as socialization or separation from parents can represent a turning point.

For example, when children go to kindergarten, let them adapt quickly, managing to establish contact with the environment in which they are. They are present, communicate with other children, participate in games and activities. But in some cases, some children refuse the change and their new environment for days and weeks. In their minds, they are at home with their parents and have a hard time accepting the moment they are in. And that is the point where by running away from current circumstances, one loses presence.

Children are generally more open to new things because they have less experience. With the acquisition, and especially the repetition of experiences, they become habits or concepts.

And with concepts often comes a tendency to defer to the past or worry about the future.

The experiences we gain are very useful for us, we are experiential beings. We learn and evolve through experiences.

But experiences should not be our inner prison.

Through Mindfulness we learn how to retain the wisdom of previous experiences while remaining open to new ones.

When, in what situations, are people most present in the present moment?

A very interesting study done in 2010 by the Harvard research center (with 2250 respondents) indicates that the average person's mind wanders 46.9% of the time, and that this fact directly affects the level of happiness and fulfillment they have ("A wandering mind is an unhappy mind " Killingsworth, Harvard University 2010)

The respondents showed the highest level of presence while meditating, doing different things Mindfulness exercises, engage in conversation, exercise physically or make love.

Does the degree of daily presence also depend on the profession we engage in?

It certainly depends. Although we should all be constantly present while working, for certain professions it is necessary. For example, surgeons, air traffic controllers, pilots, must have this quality.

How can we most easily recognize that we live without being present in the present moment?

Perhaps the easiest thing to notice is whether, while moving from point A to point B, we notice the road we pass, the people around us, the weather...

Very often we move without being aware of our surroundings at all. I think that kind of checking your presence is also a good start to Mindfulness. Also when we do what we may not really like, vacuuming, washing the dishes, we can usually notice that we are not present in the moment. We can decide to observe the warmth of the water on the skin, the way we move, the feeling in the body, the breathing instead of wandering. We can practice anytime and anywhere.

Can such a life then be called ours at all, or does it belong to played out or never played out situations that take place in our thoughts, while our body experiences another reality?

I believe that at some stage of life, especially when we make some kind of intersection, it can happen that the feeling appears that we have not lived our life at all.

Because we were not even present in it.

The body was in one place, in a moment, but the mind was in a completely different place, and in a different time.

By missing the moments in our life, the smell of morning coffee, the color of the sky, the warmth of a friend's hug, the sun's rays on our skin, we miss a completely unique experience that life brings us. Simple little pleasures.

What good does this conscious attention, presence bring us, and what are the downsides of living without it?

Mindfulness brings us different inner qualities such as: patience, easier acceptance of what we cannot change, letting go of what has time to go, trust in ourselves, nature, the universe, compassion for ourselves and others, gratitude, presence, openness for new…

A life without these qualities is not a fulfilled life.

Investing your time in practicing Mindfulness is worth every effort. Long term and short term speaking.

Mindfulness is a real life skill.