Overcoming nervousness in a few steps

Sometimes, even under normal circumstances, perhaps doing stressful jobs, we notice that at the end of the day we find it difficult to relax.

And sometimes nervousness appears without a clear and visible reason.

How can we help ourselves?

1. Change of perception

Very often, the way we accept things essentially "colors" our experience.

If the glass is half filled with water, the way we perceive it makes a big difference; is the glass half full or half empty?

Is the filter of our mind through which we view everything that happens to us positive or negative?

And that in itself raises some additional questions:

How do we experience our nervousness?

Is nervousness in itself a completely negative experience?

Nervousness is part of the natural stress response.

If we usually perceive nervousness as an inconvenience, it might be good to remember what it really is and what its purpose is.

Nervousness is often associated with a stress reaction.

Stress is the body's natural response to circumstances in which we feel threatened.
Stress basically raises all our "potentiometers" to the maximum in order to do our best and overcome the challenges in front of us.

Not only when we are faced with some difficult, demanding situations, but also when it comes to some extremely pleasant event that
we expect. For example, while preparing a family lunch for a large number of dear guests, no matter how much we enjoy it, we may feel anxious.
Thoughts like: "Will I be on time" or "Will everyone like what I'm preparing", or "Have I got everything", can create additional pressure.

And this is where our body comes to our aid.

The body raises all systems, helping us to speed up, coordinate better, remember everything, get everything done on time and in the best possible way. Stress thus helps us to complete any task.

It is good to remember that even if it pushes us out of our comfort zone, stress gives us additional fuel, additional resources to successfully start something new, do what we planned or bring to an end what we started.

Nervousness is often part of the stress response and it will be easier to overcome if we accept it and remember what it is for.
To make it easier for us to do everything that is needed, the sympathetic part of the nervous system sends information to the organs that it is time for action. And that can cause nervousness.

It is good to remember that nervousness is usually temporary. Usually with the passing of stressful circumstances - it also passes.
And if this is not the case, we have the following steps at our disposal that can be helpful.

2. Preventive-preliminary preparation

When demanding situations await us and we know this in advance, the best antidote to nervousness is prior preparation.
Whenever possible, we can foresee more time for the tasks ahead of us, we plan everything, even the smallest details, or even better - make a plan B.

When we know that we are ready and that we have prepared well, it will be easier to control the fear of failure, the stress that comes with that fear, and
therefore nervousness.

3. Visualization

As recent theories of modern neuro-science suggest, the human brain constantly goes "one step ahead" predicting the development of situations in the future and using past experiences to prepare a possible strategy, the so-called predictive coding - "predictive coding" (Predictive Coding and the Neural Response to Predictable Stimuli, Lee de Wit, Bart Machilsen, Tom Putzeys).

This is part of the evolutionary mechanism that helps us navigate life more easily and achieve a better outcome in various life challenges.

"From a subjective perspective, when certain circumstances arise, we first notice them and then react to them. From the perspective of the human brain, even before circumstances arise the brain subconsciously makes predictions about what is most likely to happen; begins to create the inner perception, behavioral strategy, emotions and psychological response that is most suitable for the foreseen circumstances. Predictions thus serve as an aid, a shortcut that improves adaptive functioning. "Freeman WJ (2000) - "How brains make up their minds".

If the brain already spontaneously creates a possible scenario in advance, why wouldn't we consciously advance and determine its outcome?

Very often the upcoming scenario that the brain creates is based on the fear of the outcome (it is interesting that this is also part of the evolutionary mechanism).
Given this, perhaps the outcome that the brain creates will be more about "avoiding disaster" rather than achieving the best possible solution.

If the brain is already preparing the scenario in advance, and this happens without our conscious attention being involved, why not try a different strategy and create the desired outcome?

For some complex circumstances, for new complicated beginnings or endings, it may be necessary to repeat the same visualization several times.

In our next text, we will give instructions for a simple visualization exercise

4. The best antidote is relaxation

When we learn how to relax, no situation is a problem anymore. Nervousness may still occur sometimes, but when we know how to relax, and especially how to do it quickly, a little occasional anxiety will no longer be a problem.

Life is often full of challenges and that has a good side - challenges are our biggest motivator. They simply "push" us forward.
Through challenges we learn new skills, they help us develop new qualities and abilities.

Perhaps we cannot avoid stress in the times we live in.

But we can control it.

We can allow it to arise when we need access to all our maximum internal resources, but we also need to know how to calm down as soon as the reasons for stress cease.

On the following link you may find a short relaxation exercise that can be very helpful, especially when done regularly.

5. Breathing exercises

Deep rhythmic breathing works very quickly on calmness and can be applied whenever and wherever needed.
There are different breathing exercises and some of them are very simple. And in that case even beginners can do them.

To begin with, a period of continuous practice is needed so that the breathing that is practiced becomes effortless. Given that deep rhythmic breathing is our natural breathing (rhythm, manner and depth can be permanently changed as a result of exposure to stress), we are actually only reminding ourselves of everything that we have forgotten due to the general acceleration while we are exercising.

Breathing exercises we suggest you can find it here.

6. Mindfulness

When we practice conscious attention (Mindfulness) we can easily see and understand the ways in which the brain works.

Practicing attention, we begin to notice the very beginning of the stress reaction, over time even the first "blink" of tension or nervousness.
Applying various exercises and methods over time with the "small tools" that Mindfulness gives us, we influence and learn how to overcome conditions such as nervousness.

Mindfulness means the development of awareness. And with awareness comes choice.

By practicing the attention to stay in the present moment, in the body, on the breathing, we move from the point of being overwhelmed by the present, perhaps unpleasant feeling, to the point of observing that feeling. Through this observation, through the exercise, the natural potential of the mind is included so that emotions, thoughts and feelings, instead of becoming permanent states, begin to "release" spontaneously.

It might sound too simple - which it actually is. But it takes some practice.

Mere understanding will not be enough, some training is needed.

And with training comes skill, the ability to be active without being anxious.

And that is a choice we can make - a change that brings a life where we will be able to accept different new challenges, without too much nervousness or stress.

And it is certainly worth every investment.

You can read audio recordings of some simple and basic Mindfulness exercises, but also more about Mindfulness as a program, the application of these techniques in everyday life, and answers to some basic and sometimes essential questions in the book "In Search of Answers - Mindfulness as a Path".